It's a Thin Line

It is hard to witness anyone, no matter if they are close to
 you or a passing stranger swirling into a downward spiral.

 The idea for some is like faint embers that still chokes at their memory. 

I'm familiar with two types of helpers in the world. There are people in the world who helps to the point where they walk themselves into the shoes of the other person. This group of people are nurturers, their first reaction is to extend themselves in order to piece that broken individual back together.



The second group helps with a long-handled spoon. These helpers are called directors.  A director will show you where you need to go to build yourself up. This group will give you all of the knowledge, resources, and experience that they have. 

Both groups of people are obliging, no one’s heart is  any bigger than the other’s. Further, no one's method is better than the other is. They are both needed for certain situations. A difficult thing to comprehend is when your help becomes venomous to yourself.

One challenge that nurturers face is over-extending themselves and their services. A person will take as much as the other person give. Some things belong to you, such as, your peace, happiness, spirit, and mind. You do not have to give that away to show a person what it is like to have joy and inner liberties. 

I would consider myself a nurturer. I have found myself in situations where the tables were turned on me and I was the one spiraling. I had a friend who was going through a serious rough patch in their lives. They searched for love, attention, and direction in any place that seemed secure and promising. This quest led my friend further into the pits of depression.

If I know something, I will try my best to share my knowledge. Depression and teaching people how to overcome that mindset has become a borderline passion overtime. I understand how important it is to have someone who relates to those inexpressible emotions.

I was always the first person that my friend confided in. One issue I continue to face when helping someone is having that person’s energy transfer to me. The more I fought to pull this depression out of that friend, the closer I got to its depths. No matter the time or place, my priorities were dropped to be nurturing. 

I did not realize how much that person’s situation changed me until they were gone! I could not think of where my happiness went or when I even lost it. That friend that I helped was gone, my joy was gone, and I was left by myself to find it.

Do I wish that I was a director? Honestly, I do sometimes because there are times where I feel like I my heart cheats me out of my own satisfaction.

I have to constantly change my perception on what I face daily or I will be stuck in that downward spiral. I took a lot out of that situation and many others. I learned that some individuals requires direction instead.

A person can help a friend without taking on that friend's problems. At the end of the day, you have to protect the confidence, happiness, faith, etc. that you built through your journey. Never neglect your well-being. It’s a thin line between being a helper that builds people up, than a nurturer who allows people to stand on their backs to keep them up.