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Depths of Diaspora


Depths of Diaspora

I am two weeks away from becoming a college graduate and this journey has taken me to heaven, hell, and back. I approached my freshman year of college with dreamy eyes and anxious ambitions of being the next former NBC host Melissa Harris Perry. I also came to Troy University with a heart that was dedicated to a high school sweetheart of two years. My relationship was over by the end of my first semester and I was completely devastated. I had new responsibilities, a new home, new people and the only familiarity that I had was with my ex back home, who was gone.

Many people experience their first heartbreak in high school after being stood up at the prom, movies, etc. My first heart break took place in my shabby dorm room with a roommate whom I barely knew and was rather uncomfortable with my unorthodox relationship all together. During that breakup, I lost myself chasing unrequited love. The longer I chased, the more I began to trap myself in desperation, denial, and depression. After 1.5 years of shaking that baggage off, I vowed to never commit my heart to another person in college again. Stating, “no one knows what they want. Everyone is too busy having EVERYTHING!”

 “At its core, education has always been about relationships.” - Aaron W. Hughey and Bowling Green


For three years I refused to date, attempting to avoid emotional attachments. In that period of being single I began to lose touch with being cordial and social to any person who was interested. I feared that their intentions with my heart would be detrimental. However, I thought it would be liberating to just accept that I am interested in individuals but I did not want their promises, love, or expectations. The more I have grown, the more I realized how deprived I was because I no longer shared compassion. I spent a majority of my time protecting myself rather than trusting and living.
I realized that there were many things that I was ignorant to when it came to trusting young hearts. I was content with having jaded relationships..... well that was until my attention had been caught!

 My best interest was no longer the first to be considered, I was no longer in pursuit of what I could gain before losing interest. For the first time in years, I considered limitless love rather than timed or confined compassion.

“Tell ‘em that it’s human nature…”

Humans need to be bonded, we are a loving being with hateful traits that are only present when love is absent. Love is the first emotion I knew and understood. As a little girl I would run up to greet my mother every day after returning from work to tell her that I love her. I remember my love as being so open... so unguarded!

I am at that point now that I want to carelessly and freely love, unfortunately, I am in a dilemma. I am about to graduate college and my heart finally decided to cooperate in the midst of me job-searching around the country and my partner is in the midst of leaving on a military assignment. The depths of diaspora have left quite a pit in the security of my love… the same love that fuels my motivation, passion, and secures my vulnerability. In this time of diaspora, patience, faith, communication, and constant reminders of love is what will continue our connection.

For you and your significant other, my advice is to Plan. Communicate. Stay True. And Keep it Private! Never forget to live in love!


This is my story… stay tuned to hear more from other campus crushers!
-De'Laurenz

www.indigoheaven.net
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